"A Good Dad and a Good Dog"

     According to some research that I read at some point, it was stated that a good dad and a good dog are the keys to raising responsible, respectful and relational young men.  Our discussion at the "Dads' Night Out" at St. Mary's International Middle School last night was a good indication that there are many boys at our school who are well on the way to being the kinds of young men we hope them to become because of the influence their fathers are having.

     If you were not able to attend last night you might want to look at:  Crews Missile to think about the issues to this father's choices about all kinds of things and the effect these choices might have on his children.  It is also a good starting point for all of us to think about the kinds of relationships we might like to have with our children when they are at different stages of their development and how our actions each day helps move toward that desired relationship in the future.

     You might also might want to check out the story Arun Gandhi tells about the time he lies to his grandfather.

Walking Home  This story points out how reflecting about our parenting and its effect on our children goes to the heart of good parenting practice.  It is difficult, if not impossible, to change the behaviors of your children if you don't change your own and if you are happy with the status quo then it's important to keep doing what you are doing.  Expecting different outcomes as a result of doing the same things over and over is an illogical thought process.

     Any ideas on how we can continue the conversation from last night are much appreciated.  Thanks to all for what you are doing to support the work we are doing at St. Mary's International School.

     

St. Mary's Middle School Art

Middle School Art

Pottery

 

Ok, so this isn't middle school pottery but a long journey begins with a few pinch pots.  Please check out some of the work that Mr. Stanley's art classes are doing in the St. Mary's Middle School and I am sure that it won't be long and these pinch pots will morph into some work even more pleasing.  Thanks for the work Mr. Stanley is doing to building in an appreciation for art into these boys' lives.

Mr. Stanley's Blog

Dad's Night Out

On Thursday, November 29 there will be a "Dad's Night Out" conversation about what we know about the importance Dads play in the development of respectful, responsible and relational young men.  There are compelling reasons to believe that without a active presence of a father in the lives of their sons that their academic success will be compromised, that the probability of boys ending up in trouble will be increased, that their skills and attitudes toward relationships with others will be effected and their overall happiness will be impacted.

It is important to note that a physically present father does not mean that he is psychologically or emotionally present or accessible to their sons.  If a father spends all of his time at his office, on business trips or on his i-Phone or computer this, too, has a significant impact on the development of their sons.  Likewise, if a father is not physically present in the family, this does not mean that he can't be psychologically, emotionally or actively involved with his son and can do much to be involved with the development of his son.

Linked on the sidebar is a document about the role that fathers can and should play in the development of their sons.  I am hopeful you can all join us on November 29 in the cafeteria from 7:30-9:00 to be a part of this discussion.  No Dad gets to the end of his life and expresses the wish "I wish I would have spent more time at the office" and now is one of the most important periods in the development of a boy's life when a father plays an invaluable active role.  Your active presence in your son's life is essential not only for his happiness but for yours.

Middle School House Program

Middle School House System

     The St. Mary's International Middle School has begun a new program to help develop cooperation and team spirit among the boys.  The organization and details of this program can be found on its website at:  St. Mary's International House System  Please check this site regularly to see what activities are going on and to see how the boys are doing with helping create a culture at the middle school that is focused on cooperation, teamwork and achievement.  Thanks to all of the teachers who have worked hard to get this program up and running.

Lydia

Lydia

            Lydia’s story is a remarkable one about one family’s commitment to help their daughter who was born with cerebral palsy.  Lydia was a student in the district in Iowa where I was the principal and the Decorah District was the neighboring district where I was on the School Board, where my sons attended and where the exceptional special education services were provided that involved some incredible assistive technology that has allowed her to become an advocate and a voice for others with physical challenges.  Her story is worth reading and is linked on the sidebar.

            Not having special needs students in the school is one of the unfortunate disadvantages of being in an international school.  Without special needs children learning beside our students there is much lost in the education process and doesn’t allow our students to learn about unbelievably determined girls like Lydia.  There is significant criticism about USA Public School education but the programs offered for special education students from birth onward are second to none in the world.

            It would be my hope that your son might have the opportunity to work with and to become friends with students who have special needs at some point. These are experiences that should be a part of every student’s education and life.  How can one not be inspired by Lydia, her family and the school all who have worked together to teach her what it means to be a citizen for the 21^st Century?

Staying on Track

Keeping Students on Track

     Mid-quarter grades will be coming out again in a couple of weeks.  With the weather turning cold, the days getting shorter and with Christmas break on the horizon, it is the time of year when it will be increasingly difficult to keep our students on track and on task.  Staying on top of what your son is doing in each of his classes is important as we continue our journey along the 2012-13 way.

     I would like to offer a few suggestions on how to keep the conversation going with your son about what he is learning and how he is achieving.  Following are some strategies for helping make this happen.

1. Daily, ask about what your son is finding most exciting about his learning and focus more on interesting ideas and less on actual grades.
2. Inquire about what was the most exciting part of his day.
3. Ask about his reading and what he is finding most exciting about the current book he is reading for START time.
4. Ask about his feelings toward school and what they like most about their learning.
5. Make sure your son gets plenty of sleep (9+ hrs.)
6. Build in a daily study time for his studies.  I would recommend that this be a period of 90 minutes where any time not used for homework can be used for reading.
7. Be sure monitor progress on his "STAR" incentive sheet.
8. Keep his attitude positive about his experiences at St. Mary's International School.

     Although difficult, this can be the most learning-filled time of the academic year.  The newness of the year is over, routines have been set, friends have been made and increased skills are evident.  Let's all continue to work together to making this a year of significant growth and learning for your son.  In the end, it is all about attitude and the attitude your son brings to school each day.
     Thanks for your continued support for what we are doing at the St. Mary's Middle School.

Smooth Sailing

Calm Waters and Smooth Sailing

     The waters around the St. Mary's Middle School have been a bit choppy lately with far too much energy directed toward behavioral issues.  However, it appears that we are headed back to calm waters and smooth sailing so I thought it might be a good time to reflect on some things that I have learned over the past few weeks.

1. Too many students have far too much time on their hands when they aren't directly accountable to an adult.  The frontal cortex of the middle school boys brain isn't fully developed and "loaning" an adult frontal cortex in the form of accountability at all times is not only nice but necessary.  It is my feeling that parents need to know exactly where their child is at all times and to whom they are directly accountable or trouble will eventually happen even if they are physically safe in Tokyo.
2. Many students have access to way, way too much money with, again, far too little accountability to where it is going.  It seems completely unnecessary to have more than 2,000 yen at school for any reason but regularly students are bringing 15,000+ as pocket money.
3. Students are carrying around excessive technology which is generally unnecessary.  They are also spending way more time on technology at home, or so it seems, than is healthy or purposeful.  I would encourage parents to know exactly what students are doing on the computer and limit their use to not more than 60 min. for recreational/social networking purposes per day.
4. Students are generally not getting enough sleep.  If your son is not getting at least 9 hours of sleep each night there is clear research that they are being negatively effected.  Coupled with using technology immediately before going to bed which interrupts good sleep patterns, we have many students who are sleep deprived at school.
5. Many students see "not snitching" or "not telling" on their friends far more important than doing what is right.  Peer pressure is alive and well and we all need to figure out ways to help our students act on doing what is right and not be influenced by what might be unpopular.  Talking about values with your sons on a regular basis is fundamentally important.

We all need to step back and think about how we communicate values to the boys who attend St. Mary's Middle School.  I am looking forward to setting sail into a nice long period of windless seas, sun, and fun.

A School of Excellence

Proud to Be a Decorah Viking Parent

     It has been quite the fall for the Decorah, Iowa Public High School where my two boys attended.  Following are a few articles about their success and what I am most proud of is how these students see academics as their first goal of attending school and that extracurricular activities are secondary.

Challenge Cup
State Football Championship
Girls and Boys Cross Country State Champions
National Blue Ribbon School

     The school's formula for success in both the classroom and in the sports world isn't too complicated.  1)  The students come to school with a strong work ethic and a high level of accountability in all they do.  Living in a town of 10,000 (it takes a village to raise a child) doesn't allow for much to happen without someone knowing about it.  2)  There is a culture at the school where achievement is the norm.  It is cool to achieve and there is a high level of support from students in all they do.  3)  There is a focus on the fundamentals both in the classroom and on sports teams.  There is little tolerance for misbehavior and goofing around.  4)  Teachers and parents work really hard.  In spite of most teachers having at least 150 students each day they turn out some of the best students in the state.

     I was fortunate to have my boys attend a school that strives for excellence in all they do.  I hope that I can pass this attitude toward achievement on to the boys with whom I work with at St. Mary's.  There are no substitutes for respect, responsibility, relations, responsiveness and hard work when on the road toward academic and extracurricular excellence.

Summer Camp Options

Summer School/Camp Options

It is not too early to begin thinking about summer camp opportunities for your sons.  There is also research suggesting that 7th and 8th grade is not too early for your son to be thinking about the type of college and general areas of interest that he might like to explore beyond high school graduation.  Consequently, I am exploring some opportunities that might provide St. Mary's Middle School boys the opportunity to do both during the summer of 2013.

As many of you know, I am a tenured Professor of Education at Luther College in Decorah, Iowa and I was most recently serving as the department chair in the education department.  One of Luther College's flagship program is their music program that offers a summer camp for middle school students called Dorian Music Camps.  The second camp program that is well-known for immersion language programs is the Concordia Language Villages which is offered in different locations in Minnesota.  Luther College also is well known for their environment study programs and offers an outdoor education camp called Discovery Camp.  Finally there is also a whole host of summer sports programs offered at Luther that would be great experiences for your son and can be explored through the Luther Sports Camps page.

My thought,  if there was enough interest, is that I could arrange a three or four week summer camp experience for St. Mary's boys linking the music, language, environmental and sports camps together with the logistics and transportation provided through Luther College.  In between camps and on the weekends, arrangements could be made to visit a variety of college campuses to include colleges like St. Olaf College (where my sons attended and had a great experience), Macalester College (known for having lots of international students), Carleton College (known for academic rigor), University of Minnesota (Minneapolis is one of the most liveable cities in the USA and known for the Mall of America) and potentially a variety of other colleges and universities in the midwest.  I am a bit biased but I believe that Minnesota, Iowa and Wisconsin are the best of the USA and are great places to live and to attend college.

Or, if you just want so general ideas for individual summer camps for a week while your family is visiting the USA, these are good options to begin your exploration.  There are many, many great opportunities to enhance your son's educational experience and now is the time to begin exploring the options for the summer.  If you might be interested in a package of camps I would love to hear from you and if there seems to be enough initial interest I would continue to develop this idea.

Developmental Assets for Middle School Boys

Developmental Assets

Too often we attempt to address issues and problems with adolescent boys instead of focusing on individual assets, school assets and community assets.  The questions we should be asking are about how we collectively develop the assets that will allow boys to be resilient, flexible, adaptable and well-prepared for the future they will face.

The Search Institute in Minneapolis, Minnesota has been a long time leader in studying the assets that will allow boys to be successful.  These assets go far beyond good grades on a report card or success on the athletic field.  I would encourage you to review the Search Institute website to consider how your family can focus on helping develop these assets in your son's life at home, help support these assets at St. Mary's and in the community you are a part outside of school.

I will look forward to seeing many of you at the upcoming parent teacher conferences and, as always, don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions or concerns before then.